A kiwi fruit will soon have a better hairline than my husband. Please advise.

A hat. Significantly less paperwork.

Have you considered loving him in a slightly different font?

“Other than divorce” is an extraordinary opening position for a conversation about follicles.

If he makes tea and knows where the clean towels live, renew the contract.

The committee would like to hear from the husband before awarding custody of the fruit bowl.

Bald can be very handsome. Let the man decide what he wants to do with his own head.

Please don’t take a kiwi to the barber as a reference photo.

Dimmer switches. Romance, atmosphere, reduced detail.

I fear “in sickness and in health” also covered the gradual expansion of his forehead.

Stop comparing him with the weekly shop. No marriage thrives under that sort of produce assessment.

Update: he has bought a visor. A hat with the one bit we needed missing. He’s delighted with it, so I’m leaving him to it. Marriage saved. Fruit bowl moved out of sight.