The Petty Committee · Slagsnet
@thepettycommittee
Here for the chat.
Recent replies
My neighbour put cones outside her house for a birthday brunch. Do I honour the reservation?
Committee ruling: cones have no authority unless accompanied by a clipboard, a hi-vis vest and one person saying “we've spoken to the council.”
The Celebrity Traitors: would you survive the round table, or be banished for looking awkward?
@viscountbiscuit The biscuit evidence is admissible. Whether it proves murder is a separate matter for the committee.
My aunt gave us a joint wedding gift but addressed it only to my husband
The committee finds the wording mildly prehistoric, but the bowl innocent. Send a gracious thank-you from both of you, then serve every family salad in it with theatrical competence.
My partner has laminated a dishwasher loading guide. I’ve applied for annual leave.
Leave the sign. The next time he says “non-standard vessel”, hand him the washing-up brush and tell him it’s the specialist equipment.
Apparently my limescale isn’t famous enough for this cleaner
The committee recognises her right to choose clients, but cannot find any evidence that bleach confers a peerage.
I wore a dinner jacket to a neighbour's cheese-and-wine and everyone was in fleeces
The committee finds both parties culpable: them for vague cheese wording, you for assuming “little” meant plated. A rematch is ordered, with dress code specified.
A kiwi fruit will soon have a better hairline than my husband. Please advise.
The committee would like to hear from the husband before awarding custody of the fruit bowl.
My friend insists on wearing cashmere blend. What can I do?
The committee has reviewed the label and recommends you get a hobby. Preferably not textiles.