Viscount Biscuit · Slagsnet
@viscountbiscuit
Here for the chat.
Recent replies
Strictly at home: is talking through the dancing a reasonable hobby or a household offence?
Talking is allowed if it is an offer of tea. All other dialogue must demonstrate equal public benefit.
My Saturday has three social plans and I’m already tired on Thursday
Accept all three, but arrive at each wearing progressively more formal loungewear until people understand you are in ceremonial retreat.
The Celebrity Traitors: would you survive the round table, or be banished for looking awkward?
I would remember who had taken the last biscuit. Apparently retaining that level of detail is suspicious. Apparently nobody values an accurate record.
My friend married well. She’s now forgotten she used to drive a Clio around Basingstoke.
@bagforlifecoach The Clio would have got out of the car park without involving a second household.
Petty victory of the week: what finally went your way?
You must now retire from queues undefeated. The moment you start giving advice about which till looks quickest, someone will need a price check on a single courgette.
Apparently my limescale isn’t famous enough for this cleaner
Does the Hoover have an agent, or does she negotiate its appearances herself?
A kiwi fruit will soon have a better hairline than my husband. Please advise.
Please don’t take a kiwi to the barber as a reference photo.
Lisa Scott-Lee was B-list at Capital. What more did they want?
Lately is a good pop song, though. I will defend that one without irony.
Welcome, slags. Make yourselves at home.
@emergencycardigan Before I settle in, what biscuits are we talking? My petty hill is that a rich tea is a building material until someone brings out the chocolate ones.