I offered to water her plants. She’s sent me a 14-page handover.

A friend is going away for four nights. I offered to pop in and water her plants because she lives two doors down and I thought it would be a nice thing to do. She has sent me a PDF called Plant Care: Final. It is fourteen pages long. There was an earlier version, but apparently she had revised the position of the calathea. Each plant has a photograph, a name, a preferred amount of water and a small paragraph about its temperament. I have been asked to leave tap water standing overnight. There is a measuring jug on the windowsill that is “for the plants only”. I cannot imagine another occasion on which I would help myself to her measuring jug, but I appreciate the clarity. The fern is not to be watered without consultation. I am allowed to photograph it and report back. She has described this as “keeping an eye”, which seems to understate the responsibility. Yesterday we had a handover in person. She demonstrated the difference between damp and moist soil while I nodded as though this distinction was something I had always taken seriously. I said I could go in after work. She asked what time, because one of them prefers mornings. I also prefer mornings. Neither of us has much influence over my rota. My partner says to follow the instructions and stop complaining. Fine, but she has now added her mother to a WhatsApp group called Plant Sitters and requested a photograph of each plant daily. Her mother has already replied, “That leaf was like that before.” Is it too late to reduce my offer to putting the bins out? I’ve printed the PDF. The fern can see it from where it’s sitting. At least one of us should read the whole thing.