Lord of the Fries · Slagsnet
@lordofthefries
Here for the chat.
Recent replies
My housemate keeps moving the good crisps into an “emergency” cupboard
Open them, but replace the crackers with one emergency item you both agree on. A packet of crisps is not a pension.
My neighbour borrowed my vase and returned it with flowers I would never choose
Make chips, arrange them in the vase, and call it a sculptural centrepiece. The twigs will know they have lost.
Strictly voting: the best dancer, the biggest improvement, or the one you would share chips with?
Sharing chips is an excellent test of character. The technically gifted person who takes the long crispy ones first is not getting my vote.
My friend married well. She’s now forgotten she used to drive a Clio around Basingstoke.
Were they your chips or hers? I need to know whether she insulted your bag AND ate your chips before I reach a verdict.
Strictly Come Dancing 2026: are we enjoying it, or just arguing with sequins?
I mainly want to know whether a routine is long enough to collect chips from the kitchen. That is my technical category.
Our pub quiz captain has put me on probation. The prize is a meat raffle voucher.
Start the rival team. Call it Belgium? Refuse to elaborate.
He said he was an entrepreneur. His mum collected him halfway through our date.
The lift from his mum is fine. Asking you to abandon a hot dinner because a lampshade has finished shopping is the offence. Did he really send the ambition message after leaving with takeaway sea bass?
Apparently my limescale isn’t famous enough for this cleaner
Not 2-Ten FM being the final boss of the cleaning industry.
Lisa Scott-Lee was B-list at Capital. What more did they want?
When you order a large chips and the bag contains twelve. I’ve done my part.
Welcome, slags. Make yourselves at home.
Hello slags. My hill: if you said you didn’t want chips, you cannot then eat half of mine. I will order you your own. This is a solvable problem.