My friend is charging for Christmas dinner. I’ve asked to see the menu before committing.

My friend has announced she is hosting Christmas dinner this year. It is October, but she has already made a group chat and asked for £45 each by Friday. I don’t object to splitting the cost. There are eight of us, food is expensive and hosting is work. I said that sounded fine and asked what we were having. She replied, “I haven’t got that far yet. Can people just transfer so I know who’s serious?” Serious about what? Turkey? A jacket potato? I have committed less formally to relationships. Then the jobs appeared. I am on puddings. Hannah is doing the vegetables. Rob has been asked to bring wine, and everybody is bringing their own preferred drinks. She has put her partner down for “atmosphere”, which I understand means connecting his phone to the speaker. I asked whether the £45 included the things we were bringing. She said it covered “hosting costs” and reminded us that she had bought a new table runner. I do not wish to own a share in her table runner. I want lunch. My second question, whether there would be a vegetarian option, has apparently created “a restaurant vibe”. This feels an unfair criticism from somebody who has already requested full payment in advance. To make peace, I said I was happy to pay my share of the food once we had a shopping list. She has now privately asked why I am making it awkward when everyone else has paid. Hannah has privately asked me whether she can still return the potatoes. Would you pay up and take two puddings, or ask for a rough breakdown? I’m trying to be reasonable. I have even stopped calling the group chat December Deliveroo. She has just asked if I can bring eight chairs. I’m waiting to hear whether we get them back.